Tuesday: worship

Last tuesday night we talked about worship. Well earlier that night shawn really upset me so when we got to group I was still pretty pissed off. I put on a happy face at first and then someone said something that irritated me so I got angry again. So I was kind of hoping that we would have a laid back night, (not to spiritual) And what were we talking about, worship, why we worship, what helps us, what hinders us. I was thinking, great, the one night I am really fuming we are talking about virtually the most important thing as humans that we can offer God. So the entire night I was quiet I didn't say more than 2 words the whole night, and as everyone knows that is Not me. But I was listening. Thats the thing about me I can be really upset, and act like I couldn't give a lick, but really I am listening to every little thing. I think I do that just incase I stop being mad so that if I do feel like it I can jump in at any moment. Anyways, the group ended and thankfully we had someone we needed to meet so we had an excuse to leave right away. But on the car ride to where we needed to be I was just looking at the sky and it was very dark but I could see some clouds highlighted by the moonlight. And I started to cry again, (the first time was b/c I was telling shawn why I was upset) I am still not to sure why, but I just think I truely felt and saw the vastness and greatness of God. I thought to myself what I have done all night is so petty and stupid. Instead of talking, and being present in group I was holding on to anger and that couldn't be further from what God really needs, whats and is deserving of. God is so huge, he is everywhere, he can make me feel so loved, and turn every piece of anger in me into love. It sounds so cheesey but it is so true. And I love him, I just wish I could express myself the way he does.